Friday, May 12, 2017

Maturity x Independency

We shouldn't be independent.

We can't. We just can't.

Our very existent were depending on supposedly act of love of a man and another woman. Then we count on our mother's womb to protect and provide us an environment and nutrition for formation of our body from simple cell, then her strength to bring us into this world. Our parents, or some other people, then looked after us, taught us to live, provided food, clothing, shelter and education for us. Later, we depended on our teachers and friends (and Google, for younger audience) to teach us all sort of knowledge. And yes, we depend on calculator to tell us how much 3 ounces of gold worth in American dollar. 

Even as we became adult, as we started to earn money, we thought that we have a say, final say, of our lives, we still depending heavily on others. A person may or may do some of the following, but I am quite certain you don't do all these: prepare foods, made clothing, build housings, provide employment, clean the road and waste from your home, fill your bank account, look after you when you are sick, etc. 

No one can live completely independent from another person. Or object, for that matter. How many of us can really live, like, have a life without technology like calculator, computer, i-pad, smart phone, phablet, etc? (sad case, but so true, no?)

No one. 

So independent is just an illusion, an impossible ideal for humanity.

But, we should grow in maturity.

As other provide and serve us in various ways, at some point we grew less dependent of others, physically, mentally, intellectually, spiritually. We started to realize that we can contribute to others. We started to help our parents with family chore. We help our teachers to clean the board after class. We sympathize with our best friends when they lose their love one by accompanying them, give them a hug, pray for them. We able to work and earn our living, and provide for our parents and younger ones. We learned to take responsibility. We also learn to do research on our own, make wise discernment (most of the time with advice or with much experience in making not-so-wise decision.)

In other words, we grow in maturity, physically, emotionally, intellectually and even spiritually.

We can't, and need not, to be independent.

We can, and need to, grow in maturity as a human. That means to learn to be responsible with our lives, and lives depending on us one way or another. Maturity is not about being or becoming independent. But recognize how we can live for others, and live for them wisely and dutifully, and recognize how we need others in our lives, and humbly ask and receive blessing from them gratefully. To be mature means being patient with the immature, for we were so too in the past (and still so in some ways). 

What we really need to learn, to grow, is maturity, not independence.

Are we, yet?  




Thursday, November 27, 2014

Falling in love

We often hear people say that they are falling in love with someone. They say that they have feeling for that person and they can’t help but to care for the person, follow him/her wherever he/she goes. Without that person the day is gloomy, with him the rainbow is out.

But, is the idea of falling in love right?

I mean, is love a kind of falling?

To fall is a passive, involuntary and uncontrolled event. It happened out of a sudden, spontaneously. It is an un-intentional event. And usually, falling causes pain, terrible result. To fall hence is more an unwanted event than desired happening.

What does that implies when we describe romance as falling in love?

First, then falling in love implies that being in love is a passive, involuntary and uncontrolled event. It happened out of a sudden and spontaneously. We have no time to react to it. We do not want it. Usually it end up with pain (break up), because somehow we fall for another person. We may tell the ex-to-be that, I don’t want it, but I can’t help it either, it just happened, I just fall for him/her, so we have to break up.

Consequently, we will not take initiative; we can’t, since it is uncontrolled event. We cannot resist. And then, when those pain come, we take no responsibility. How can we be held responsible for an involuntary, spontaneous, un-intentional and unwanted event?

Is that love? Is that what true love is?

Love is a verb. It is suppose to be active, voluntary, and controlled event. One is supposed to be able to choose who to and not to love. It should be intentional. He wills to love, he chooses to love, he wants to love, and therefore he loves. He wants to be responsible to and for her life. That means, to love someone is a choice, a decision, a commitment. Affection may be part of the elements, but it is not the deciding factor. One can still choose to love another, to determine to care for another person without feeling, even in spite of feeling (bad feeling).




Reflections:
1.  Is a relationship as important as love or romance or marriage (!) consistent with the idea of falling?
2.  How do you define love? How this definition is affecting your relationship and how you view relationship? 

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Cool friend… aye?

Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. 
Proverbs 13:20

“Although he smokes, he always treats me with respect.”

“Yeah, they go to bar, they take weeds, they like to drink and get drunk, but they never force me to do any of that, but never force me to do so. So they are not really bad, right?”

We always think of friends this way: as long as they allow me to do what I want to do, it is alright for me to hang out with them, even if they engage in bad habits like smoking or drinking, skipping class, etc.

As long as I can still be myself, ain’t do me any harm, can it?

Really?

That’s a man in the bible, name Lot. Bible says that he is godly man, he fears God. Although he lives in an ungodly city, a sinful city, a city that would demand him to take out the man, who by chance comes to his house as guest, to let them sexually abuse him (they are all man! Of various age groups!), he never agrees and engages in their activities.

But do you know he did? When they demand of that guest for their lustful pleasure, he proposed to them his two virgin daughters. How would you feel if you are one of the two young ladies?
Later on, God decided to destroy the city for good because of their wickedness. Lot reluctant to leaves, he was too used to the city; there lies his family, his properties, how could he just leaves everything behind and go to another city empty handed? But God delivered him by force, his wife turned salt pillar for looking back at the city. His two daughters, when taking refuge in a cave with their old man, decided to make him drunk and sleep with him and get pregnant from him.

Crazy huh? But hey, don’t you see what friends can do to you?

Though these people were good to Lot, they allow him to live in the city, to have properties, to allow their children to marry with him, even though he was sojourner among them, but ultimately what they cause him? On the surface level, his physically properties. More than that, they actually influence him to compromise to do what is right, what really pleases God. Although he cared for their souls, he prayed for them, he mourned for their wickedness, (2 Peter 2:6-8)  but he still lives among them, for their lands is well for his flocks, his business, his material success.


Reflections:
1. How do you choose friends? Are those tag line sounds familiar to you?
2. Can you recall or heard or encounter someone who live a godly life, become a successful person to the society and the world by constant dwelling among bad companions?
3. Can you think of a person whose life was ruined or influenced toward negative direction by bad friends?
4. What are the real reasons you choose friends like these? Is it because you want to influence them, so that their life can be changed for better, or for your own selfishness, because you are ‘respected, honored’ among them? 

Notes: the story of Lot is recorded in the book of Genesis, chapter 13, 19, in the bible. 

Monday, October 13, 2014

What is confession?

Confess

Transitive verb

1: to tell or make known (as something wrong or damaging to oneself) : admit
2 a: to acknowledge (sin) to God or to a priest
b: to receive the confession of (a penitent)
3: to declare faith in or adherence to
4: to give evidence of
(Merriam-webster dictionary)

To confess, is to tell someone something. It is a verb, therefore an object must follow. And also contain a certain kind of content. It is about the person who confess, and the bad things he had done.

Not only so, when a person confesses something, he feels sorry about the things he had done. He has a heart to repent, to turn away from the things that he had done wrong. He is ashamed of the things he had done.

Furthermore, he confesses it to someone greater than himself or the person that he had wronged against. He is seeking forgiveness. He is seeking justice and righteousness for the person he done sinned against.

Another sense of use is to declare or proclaim what a person believes. To confess is to give a statement of what he truly believes in, and this is usually done by a group of people, e.g. Westminster Confession of Faith, but also can be done individually. Of cause, of this sense a person need not feel sorry for what he believe. 

To this end, a confession hence is a statement, a proclamation, about a person’s action and/or faith, to seek forgiveness or to reaffirm his stance on something that he hold to be truth.


My question is:

Are the confessions on MCKL Confession Page really a confession?
If they are not, what are they?
If they are, who they are telling to?

Monday, September 15, 2014

A learner’s tongue

The Lord GOD has given me the tongue of those who are taught, that I may know how to sustain with a word him who is weary. Morning by morning he awakens; he awakens my ear to hear as those who are taught.
~Isaiah 50:4

This is one of my favourite verses in the Scripture. Because I am a teacher, I use my tongue everyday to teach, admonish, comfort, encourage, rebuke, correct, etc. It is God, the Father Almighty, who does not quench the faintly burning fire, nor does he break the wounded reed, that teaches me the word to sustain others, mostly my students, who is weary with all kinds of things in life.

I did not asked to be a teacher in MCKL, or any other places for that matter. Since I entered the college as 1003, I have met with students with various backgrounds, ethnic groups, or belief systems. I also come across students personally with various needs in life: problems in family, study, relationship, self-discipline, so called ‘self-image’, confusion about career path and purpose in life, illness and needs physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It is hard for another man, mere human, sinner, to address those issues and needs. Yet I have been given the opportunity and responsibility to do something about it.

Hence this blog.

I hope that this can be a platform, for me to first exercise and show (though with limitation and flaws), how to love God with all our heart, all our soul, and all our mind. Then secondly, to love my neighbour, that is you, as myself.

How?

By giving words to sustain those who are weary. Words not from man, but thought by God. I hope to give as best as possible, what the Scripture has to say about various things in life, in particular in the life a students, especially students in MCKL.

Nevertheless, a few things to highlight before we proceed.

First of all, all of my posts do not represent viewpoint of the management of MCKL, or any party, club, society, or any MCKL-affiliated group. I myself solely is to be held accountable on everything I have to say here.  

Secondly, I hope to see a lot of comments from readers, which are you, so that there is interaction between us. Your opinion and thoughts are much valued here. But I do not accept vulgarly language, abusive language towards any person or groups. I hope that utmost respect for another person, ethnic group, belief system, nationality, social status, gender is given, in spite of disagreement that is possible, which surely exist.

Thirdly, I will not accept any anonymous comment. We have to learn to be accountable for what we say and do. Therefore, you must sign in to post comments. And I reserve the right to accept or ignore or delete any comment without prior notice. After all, this is my page, and I am held accountable for whatever posts or comments on this page, even those that are not from me.

Fourth, this list is by no means exhaustive. We are learners, we learn and grow. So if in the future I find the needs to add in other caution, I may update this. For watch up, this list may change from time to time. As for now, that is it.

I wish you happy reading and learning here through these blogs.
May your heart be awaken, your wear soul refreshed.

God bless.