Falling in love

We often hear people say that they are falling in love with someone. They say that they have feeling for that person and they can’t help but to care for the person, follow him/her wherever he/she goes. Without that person the day is gloomy, with him the rainbow is out.

But, is the idea of falling in love right?

I mean, is love a kind of falling?

To fall is a passive, involuntary and uncontrolled event. It happened out of a sudden, spontaneously. It is an un-intentional event. And usually, falling causes pain, terrible result. To fall hence is more an unwanted event than desired happening.

What does that implies when we describe romance as falling in love?

First, then falling in love implies that being in love is a passive, involuntary and uncontrolled event. It happened out of a sudden and spontaneously. We have no time to react to it. We do not want it. Usually it end up with pain (break up), because somehow we fall for another person. We may tell the ex-to-be that, I don’t want it, but I can’t help it either, it just happened, I just fall for him/her, so we have to break up.

Consequently, we will not take initiative; we can’t, since it is uncontrolled event. We cannot resist. And then, when those pain come, we take no responsibility. How can we be held responsible for an involuntary, spontaneous, un-intentional and unwanted event?

Is that love? Is that what true love is?

Love is a verb. It is suppose to be active, voluntary, and controlled event. One is supposed to be able to choose who to and not to love. It should be intentional. He wills to love, he chooses to love, he wants to love, and therefore he loves. He wants to be responsible to and for her life. That means, to love someone is a choice, a decision, a commitment. Affection may be part of the elements, but it is not the deciding factor. One can still choose to love another, to determine to care for another person without feeling, even in spite of feeling (bad feeling).

Reflections:
1.  Is a relationship as important as love or romance or marriage (!) consistent with the idea of falling?
2.  How do you define love? How this definition is affecting your relationship and how you view relationship?